Knowledge of Self
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| Writer and Model - Lexus Bradbury |
There's a lot of misinformation floating round the internet these days, about gender and trans people. One moron, takes in the opinion of another moron. They go tell another moron, who tells another moron, and very soon, that opinion becomes fact.
I'm only writing this piece, so I don't ever have to explain anything like this again. I want to be able to share my stories, and write my blogs confident, that I've already addressed something before I go into it. My transition and career's been an incredible journey, full of highs and lows. I'd rather not have to explain something clinical like gender, in the middle of the story I'm telling. Unfortunately, there are certain things that cross over the topics, that I need to address and give you my take on. Consider this blog me doing that. In future, I'll just reference this blog, and won't actually be speaking on it again. I'm not here to change your opinion if you're anti trans, I fully understand, you are committed to misunderstanding trans people. I'm here to talk about lived experience and facts. I've been living full time as a woman now for fourteen years. I've argued and debated with some of the most staunch anti trans from across the globe. What I quickly learned, was they aren't interested in the facts. They're not interested in actually hearing from trans people at all. I've tried explaining my lived experience, and people still lock in on their narrative. People will believe, what they WANT, to believe. People CHOOSE what they believe, and more often than not, the choice is made based on what best suits their narrative. NOT the actual facts.
This is the biggest threat to our society really evolving. There's a narcissistic element at play, which prevents people from backing down, and admitting they're wrong. Subjective matter is up for debate, but when you present someone with the facts to prove otherwise, and the person you're debating remains locked in, that's very dangerous for us collectively. It holds us back, and prevents us from moving forward together.
I totally get why it is that way. We commit to something for so long, that it causes us emotional pain to admit we've wasted our time on something. The last thing people want to be is wrong. You must understand this ? You see it every single day. It's literally everywhere you look. How often do you see people brave enough to hold their hands up, and admit they're wrong ?
What I'm going to say today, is not open for debate. Not with me anyway. You can debate amongst yourselves, but I have zero interest in debating anything I'm going to say. These are my words, this is my take on things. I'm done hearing everyone else's.
I'd like to go into gender first, and what it all really means, then later, at the end of the blog, I'll dispel some ridiculous myths.
So what is gender, and what does it all really mean ?
Your gender is who you go to bed as. Your sexuality is who you go to bed with. You can't work out your sexuality, until you've worked out your gender. Trans isn't a sexuality thing, it's a gender thing.
Lesbian - Who you sleep with
Gay - Who you sleep with
Bi - Who you sleep with
Trans - Who you sleep as
There's no sexual element in transgenderism.
It's 2025 at the time of writing this. It astonishes me, that people still don't know the difference between gender and sexuality. Many of these people, still feel that despite being clueless, they're entitled to an opinion on things. There's the old saying "Everyone's entitled to an opinion". I don't agree with this at all, and it's up to us to police ourselves on it. To know ourselves, and recognise when we're out of our depth on something. To not be arrogant. To know when to be quiet and listen. The sentence begins "Everyone's Entitled". We can just stop there, because everyone's entitled.
The argument is pathetic. So I'm entitled to an opinion on mixed martial arts and how to apply them ? I'm entitled to an opinion on the pain of child birth ? I'm entitled to an opinion on what it's like being sent to war ? You're fooling yourself, if you think your opinion matters. Todays society has normalised people having opinions on things they don't understand. Today's society, doesn't just allow space for it, it often promotes you giving your opinion, pushing clickbait headlines on social media. You've become so desperate to give out your opinions on things. Instead of worrying about which celebrity is sleeping around and doing drugs, why not look at yourselves ? Sure there's room for a ton of self improvement.
A recent headline that stuck out to me, was Kelly Osbourne was mad at a WWE wrestler, for saying some shit about her Dad on the weekly TV Show. You should have seen the people in the comments. Ozzy would be ok with it apparently, like they knew the dude. Judging Kelly, saying Ozzy would be ok with it, and making out Kelly was highly strung. Could it be, that she's just lost her Dad ? And she didn't need a wrestler cutting a promo on him, just after they've buried him ? What do they mean when they say, Ozzy would be okay with it ? How the fuck do you know ? Society has well and truly crossed the line, and what's scary, is how normal this shit's become. Go and find that story on any social, and read the comments. Who the fuck do these people honestly think they are ? Did these people know her Dad ? Because I'm certain, that she knew him better than anyone in the comments section. How out of touch with reality do you need to be, to lecture a grieving daughter, about what her Father would have been ok with, when you never knew them personally ? Knowledge of self is so important, know yourselves.
I've had people try to tell me what happens at the gender clinics. People who've never even been inside one. People who aren't trans. People who've consumed too much biased internet, that's caused them to form an opinion, which they're now trying to pass off as fact. How deluded do you have to be, to tell someone who's been through the process, what happens during the process.
So, I don't care about peoples opinions generally on trans people. They have no idea what it feels like for us. But yet, still entitled enough to feel they have the right to an opinion on us. How about, normalising minding your own business, and staying in your lane. There's so much more to be gained looking inwards, than there ever will be looking outwards. Of course, this scares us, because we don't like what we see when we do that. Other peoples issues are far more interesting to us than our own.
So back to gender. What is gender ?
Well most of the anti trans brigade, seem to think our gender/sex is based on our chromosomes. I hate to break it to you, but this is simply not the case. Chromosomes weren't discovered until 1861, and even then, they didn't know what it all meant. Man and woman have existed much longer than 1861. We were split into two much earlier than 1861. In fact, man and woman are mentioned in the earliest parts of the bible.
Gender is a dated religious concept, that existed long before we discovered chromosomes.
If you think about it, in many ways, gender is very similar to the concept of time. We know moments exist, and we know once a moment has gone, there's no way to get it back. We know there will be moments ahead of us in the future. We invented a way to measure these moments, called time. Time is as man made, as the concept of gender. Really, there's no such thing. It's only 10pm, because WE, say it is. The reality is, it's just night time.
At some point in history, we've decided okay, you have this between your legs, this is the pathway we will put you on in life. These are the expectations we put upon you on this pathway, and these will be your roles. This happened long before science.
Regarding chromosomes we have to ask ourselves, what is science ?
Science is merely the discovery of a pre existing design. There's nothing we can find, that doesn't already exist. If tomorrow, we discovered, that combining an egg with some cider, is the cure for cancer. That doesn't mean that it exists from the moment of discovery. That combination is already there, we just haven't discovered it yet. So, its the job of science, to understand how things work, on an already pre existing design. This isn't our design. The labels we put on things, and how we interpret the design, can only be confirmed by the designer. And seen as they don't pick up the phone, we are guessing with a lot of the structure we've created.
Now it's either a random self made design, with no rhyme or reason. Or, it's someone's/something's design, you may call them God. I don't care whatever way you feel about it.
So I'm not here to deny the existence of chromosomes. Science did its job and discovered them. What science then does, is assign labels to them. Words !! Sounds we make using our mouth. Man made written structure, that forms words based on our sounds. XX Woman, XY Man.
What if man was called Ug and woman was called Ug Ug ? The same people would be putting themselves out there, saying it's always been Ug and Ug Ug, so why change it now right ? Bless them, they can't handle change.
What science can never do, is prove that we should have been split into two, and sent down these man made structural pathways, based on such differences. This isn't our design, so we aren't the ones to be saying, this is what we should be divided on. Most of our structure is based on guesswork, established long before we discovered Chromosomes.
What if we say, people with brown and blue eyes are women, and green eyes and anything in between, are men ? And it's always been that way. So like being divided on our genitals, there's obvious visible differences in eye colour. But also, there's scientific differences in melanin. So like the differences in chromosomes, we now have visible differences, and scientific ones to back it up.
So I ask, should we then divide people into groups, based on the visible differences in eyes and the science to back it up ? Of course not, that would be ridiculous right ? This is exactly the same with chromosomes, and visible differences in our bits. If it'd always been that way, people would be saying, there's scientific differences between eye colours. The science proves it, so this proves their gender. Nobody would be any wiser.
Science can show many differences between people. What science cannot do, is prove it was the right thing, to divide us on such differences. I hope this makes sense. If it doesn't, go back to the start, slow down, and read again. There really is no fucking with what I'm saying. When you put everything I've said together, gender is an outdated religious concept.
There are not two genders, there are not fifty, there are not a million. There are none !!
I often see trans people put on the spot by right wingers, who love to ask, what is a woman ?
Allow me to answer that, and remember this answer the next time a clever dick puts you on the spot.
A woman, is an idea that came from religion. It's a man made role, society handed out, based on what's between our legs. A woman has nothing to do with science, the concept existed long before.
Gender doesn't exist. Biology does. But biology doesn't prove that gender exists. Biology proves that we have differences..
We're clinging to outdated ideas, thinking it's based on science, when actually, it's based on man made religious structure. The bible. The same bible that has talking snakes, and people rising from the dead.
It's not like this structure's serving us well anyway. Men are suffering with mental health issues in silence. While women are thinking way too highly of themselves. The balance is well off. It's not working. I've lived a long period of time in both gender roles. I can conclude, that the world is harder for men, than it ever will be for women. Maybe I'll go into detail on this on its own blog, because it's quite interesting.
The structures already firmly in place, we aren't going to abandon the concept of gender any time soon. I accept this. I'm willing to play the game. We've all heard the cliché, that labels don't define us. Well actually, in this society, they do. That doesn't mean it's right, I'm just saying, these are the cards we have to work with. There isn't going to be some magic reset, where we all get on board and make changes. Labels aren't a fact of life, they're a fact of society. We're obsessed with them. Beans, Cola, Bread, Soup. They're largely here to help us. But that doesn't mean they're overly important. Had spiders been called Landcrawlers, would we know any different ? The word spider, never uttered from anyone's lips until now. Would it not sound as crazy as Landcrawler, if that's what we'd already committed to ?
The wheels are firmly in motion. There's a lot wrong with our system, but this is the system now, it's here to stay. Personally, I live with it, but I don't pay too much attention to words, sounds and labels. We give far too much respect to things. You ever want to see disgust, use the word (Cunt) around somebody prudish. It's an unpleasant sound to them. But when they hear the sound, (I, will, give, you, money). You watch that same persons eyes light up. We've been conditioned by the system around us, to feel certain ways about certain words.
All science has effectively done, is apply labels, words and sounds, to their discoveries.
Shoutout to the people that now understand, you wonderful, amazing people !!
There will be two other types of people who don't get it. There will be people who genuinely can't keep up with what I'm saying. And then there will be people who get it, but stay locked in. It's ok. Coming down off your high horse is very painful for you. It's hard to admit when we're wrong. Understand that the emotional pain it causes when you're wrong, will not kill you. And actually, that pain is there to help you grow and evolve. I see you.
There's a variety of people who hate on trans people for different reasons.
Some misunderstand us out of ignorance, so lump us in with the nonces. Some have nothing going on in their lives, and nothing special about them, so this trans thing becomes their whole identity. When these people stop talking about trans people, there's nothing left for them to say. They're distinctly average, have no personality, not particularly good looking, no life outside of hating on trans people. They create their social media, and share a post about their life, they get no likes. They share a picture of their poor cat, that has to suffer and endure them as owners, still no likes. Can't get a partner because they're lacking in every sense. Then they see trans people getting attention and love. Men throwing themselves at them. They begin to feel bitter towards them, and question, why not them ? This works for both men and women by the way. I'll get onto gay men in a moment.
The tops and bottoms of it, particularly from women who don't like transsexuals, GENERALLY is. Why are they getting all my attention. I was born with this God given right, and along comes a man in a dress, and kills me at my own thing. A lot of it's jealousy with them. Trans people are the reason they can't get laid. Trans people are turning straight men Gay. You may laugh, but I've seen transsexuals blamed for just about everything you can imagine. All because of jealousy. You can deny it, you can come up with all your lies to rationalise it, but it's the truth. You usually find, that women who are comfortable in their womanhood, generally support trans people, they aren't threatened by us at all. Then there are women gatekeeping womanhood, who feel threatened by trans women being in the same pool. So they begin to obsess about trans women, and it becomes a bit of a habit. They moan about them on social media, and suddenly, they begin to get the likes. Each like releases a little dopamine hit in the body, which they become addicted to, because they've craved that elusive validation for such a long time. So they post more, and get more likes. Likes by likeminded people, who also have nothing special about them, And what we create there, is a little echo chamber. Where every day, people say the same tired old crap about trans people, and they all nod and agree. Everyone feeding off each other and validating one another. Validation's a hell of a drug in todays society.
I feel so sorry for these people. Because they NEED, to talk about trans people. If they stop, them likes go away, and they go back to being irrelevant. These are the exact people, that are going to ignore everything I've said, and double down. Rather than admit they're jealous, they'll come up with every excuse in the book. They're a danger to kids, they're rapists, they're a threat to me. Accusing us of wild shit, despite nearly all of them never being hurt by a trans person. They make these overly complicated scenarios up in their head, scenarios that only happened in their mind. Never once, has a woman come out and admitted her problem with trans women is jealousy. Not one. Are you seriously trying to tell me, that there isn't one woman out there, who's being transphobic out of jealousy ? Not a single one ? The very nature of women is jealousy, there's a lot more than one.
There's no point, finding the worst case scenario trans people, and using that to justify why you aren't jealous. I have a football page on social media. It's got my picture in the profile picture, with no mention of me being trans. I'm often told, "women shouldn't talk about football". They can't tell. Sort of shits all over the, "You can always tell" narrative. There are attractive people, and not so attractive people, from all walks of life. Finding the worst case scenario, won't make you any less jealous. Like somehow, there aren't any attractive trans people. There are millions. Some will be so attractive, and so convincing, you won't even know they're trans.
Which brings me to the anti trans gays. The type of men, who's sexuality is their whole identity. It's so fucking cringe. I'm Paul, an adult homosexual male. Yes ... thanks for oversharing Paul. But that's not enough for Paul, everything revolves around Pauls sexuality. This type of gay, is particularly awful to trans women, and it's 100% jealousy. Paul used to be the special one and get all the attention. But the last decade, Pauls had to see the rise of a new community, deemed braver and more compelling. Being Gay isn't big anymore, because they got accepted. Gays can go food shopping, and not tell anyone they're gay. Paul still tells everyone though, don't you Paul ? It just won't stop oozing out of you will it "I'm Gay". It's usually in the bio. Adult, Male homosexual. Trans people don't have that luxury, Trans people have to brave it on the front line, every place they go. Suddenly, like the dried up miserable old bitch, hating on Trans people because she can't get laid, Pauls jealous. Pauls are the new Karens, don't be a Paul okay !!
There are people out there, making a living out of bashing trans people. Getting paid to bash trans people. It's their job, to make fun of trans people and discredit them. They have their agenda, and it's money. These people will disguise themselves, as journalists.
Then we have the closeted types. People who either are trans, or are turned on by us. You can spot these ones a mile away, because they protest well too much.
I'm not saying there aren't people out there with genuine concerns. I think the trans community has to get its shit together, and start rejecting some of the bad apples. Not every trans person was born to be a speaker either. I recognise, there are greater girls than me, to speak for the trans community. That's why today, I'm speaking for myself. If I can realise that, after fourteen years of being full time. Then there's a lot of girls, who need to shut the fuck up. Everyone wants to be the Jesus of the trans community, people who haven't even been full time a year, speaking on behalf of girls like me. People desperate for their moment, pulling the community in a million different directions all at once. People who aren't even full time. Had no surgery, shown no level of full time commitment, speaking on behalf of the community. Hate to say this, but chances are, you aren't the one to be speaking. Why don't you concentrate on settling into your new role, and learning things, before you start "educating" people. I despise these people as much as I despise my oppressors. These people, have done untold damage to my community. You don't come into an already established house, and then start rearranging the furniture.
Non-Binary, is not the same as transgender. Doing drag, is not the same as transgender. They are their own things, in their own category. Transgender, is commitment to the role. I'm not here to educate people on Non-Binary, because I cant relate to the experience. I'd appreciate Non-Binary, and Drag Queens, knowing themselves, and not speaking on behalf of us. Hiding behind the trans label. Wankers like Jeffrey Marsh, do not represent Transgender people. Just like I, don't represent wankers, like Jeffrey Marsh. I've seen Drag Queens on the news being interviewed, "educating" people on gender, and why things are so hard for them. What the fuck would they know ? Their makeup comes off at the end of their shift, I don't have that luxury.
When Drag Queens were asked to go into schools to talk about gender. They should have turned down the opportunity, and passed it to Trans people. They should have sat down with whoever asked them, and explained and educated them, on why they weren't the ones to be doing it. But their egos would never allow that, would they ?
I have no problem with Non-Binary people by the way, I want to be clear about that. I'd just like them to have a bit of self awareness, when a microphones in front of them. The opportunity to have their moment's just too tempting. It tickles that narcissism, and they just can't help themselves. Suddenly, the floodgates open up, and they're venturing into the trans subject. You aren't trans, you are Non-Binary. Have the decency when presented with moments, to just say "I'm Non-Binary, if you want to know about trans people, ask someone who's transitioned and committed to the role".
Non-Binary people are actually the closest to what I was talking about earlier. Gender doesn't actually exist, so they don't have one. Trans people have actually acknowledged the systems in place, and have committed to their preferred role.
I'm with women who have genuine concerns, I've heard loads out. I even agree with some of them. Women being ignored, is what got the trans community the push back it experienced in the first place. The gender debate, isn't going to be solved on social media. If all you do all day, is chat shit on social media, whatever the cause, you are not an activist, you're just somebody with an opinion.
Another myth I'd like to address, is that cisgender, is a slur. This is very easily accessible, via a quick Google search on what cisgender means, and where it came from.
Cisgender - A person who's gender identity, aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. It stems from the Latin prefix "Cis-," meaning, on the same side as. Trans people do not say this as a slur. It means you aren't trans. This is a good thing, congratulations.
I find it unbelievable, in a world I'm called a predator, and a danger to women and kids, without any reason at all. Like it's ok to accuse me of that, just because I'm trans. That there's people, playing the violin, acting like they're offended by this term. It's my house on fire. And instead of helping me, you want yours to be on fire too. Grow up, not everything's about you. It's a lie, born out of DELIBERATE misinformation. A quick Google will show you this. The information's there for you to access. Of course, some people aren't interested in the facts, it doesn't suit the narrative they're trying to paint.
While I'm here, the final thing I want to talk about, is the myth that children are being drugged up irreversibly, and talked into transitioning.
I have no doubt, that someone somewhere, has forced their child to transition. It's a giant world, full of strange people. There's lots possible outcomes. Now that's said, lets get into the trans children myth.
Adult trans people are told by idiots, that it's nothing more than a perversion. But that can't be the case generally, because we have kids saying it. Kids who don't even know what sex is yet. Even for adults, transitioning is a slow gruelling process that takes years. And rightly so, this isn't the sort of shit you want to be taking lightly. If all you like to do, is wear a dress and knock out a quick wank, you are going to massively regret having your cock and balls off. Staff are trained how to recognise this, they aren't fools. And you don't have to convince just one person either.
First you have to convince your doctor. Then you have to convince a sexual psychiatrist. Then you have to convince your key worker AND a doctor at the gender clinic. And then finally, you have to convince a panel of people, who will make a decision on the final outcome. This process takes years, and includes many interviews between patient and a number of specialist. If a kid goes through this process up until the age of consent, it's highly likely, that if anything doesn't sit right, they wont be recommended for transition.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, just walks into a clinic, and gets a sex change. There's a criteria you have to pass, before you even get considered for hormones. You have to live full time for two years, before you'll even be considered for genuine help. The question isn't always, is this person trans ? Sometimes the question and dealbreaker is, does this person have what it takes to be trans ?
So, if they're that strict on adults, what do you think it's like for children ? Again, not saying it hasn't happened in the history of time. But all in all, 99.9% of the time, no child is ever operated on, until age of consent. This means, that before trans children had their healthcare stripped away, kids weren't being operated on anyway.
I take two types of medication. I take one to lower my testosterone, and I take oestrogen. This tricks my body into feminising its shape and appearance. This also alters my emotions and feelings. If I take the medicine for twelve months, and stop for three months. My body will revert to its natural default setting, and everything will resume as it once was. If you stop taking hormones, your body goes back to normal.
Trans kids don't take hormones, they take puberty blockers. Why don't they take hormones if they're trans ? They can't consent yet, and their identity can't completely be trusted. Children are capable of changing their minds. So are adults, but the presence of adult detransitioners, doesn't discredit trans people. It only discredits the individuals in question, for thinking they're trans. So kids aren't being pumped full of hormones. They take puberty blockers. It's key that we block puberty, if we want a successful transition for the individual. We need them to have every benefit available to them. Kids who've started early and gone on blockers, you literally can't tell. The earlier you catch it, the better the transition for the child, and that means less, major, painful invasive surgery to face, further down the road.
So what if the kid goes on the blockers and then changes their mind ?
They come off the blockers, puberty kicks in almost instantly, and they resume a normal life. This is completely reversable. The fact that government took this away from trans children, is a disgrace. You are raising a generation of trans babies, that are going to have to have major surgery, to correct the FORCED developments.
As a result of going through puberty, I've had surgeries to correct what could have been prevented. What about the female to males, that don't want to develop breasts ? You're literally going to force them down a path, of having their breasts cut off, because of some myth, that trans kids are being pumped full of hormones ? It's much easier to come off the medication, and your body to go back to normal, than it is to have major surgery. You're FORCING them into a body horror experience. Trans youth, are going to take their own lives over this. I've seen it already, and the sick bastards in the comments, celebrating the suicide of a trans child, saying one less. It may not be important to you, but some of you will have trans children, and just not know yet. I wonder, how important it's going to be for the same people, when it's on their doorstep.
I've been to the gender clinic, been through the process. Seen trans kids and what they have to go through in their process. I was a trans child, I'd just not transitioned yet. Unless you have the same experience, your opinion is irrelevant. I'm sure being told that bothers some people, tough shit. I don't care what your mate told you at the anti trans rally. I don't care what you read on the internet. I'm coming at this with actual lived experience. You wouldn't dream of telling Cristiano Ronaldo how to take a free kick. So don't tell me how gender and biological sex works. Don't insult me, by telling me, there are kids being groomed to be transgender, because they like to play with dolls. It doesn't work like that. A medical professional isn't going to look at that situation, and be like "Right, Billy likes to play with dolls, off with his cock and balls". These things are narratives, that only happen in your poisoned and deluded little minds.
If kids stop taking puberty blockers, their body goes back to normal. No long term damage done. This is a fact. The only reason, puberty blockers were taken from Trans children, was because the government was being advised, by a right wing anti trans group. They were taking in biased misinformation and lies, and they got drawn in by sensational bullshit and scare tactics.
It's always the people picking on these kids, that spout the line "Let kids be kids". That's what we are doing. Well, that's what people with lives of their own are doing. Nobody was bothering them until you came along. Making your sick unfounded accusations, that the parents are child abusers, for letting their kid live in their preferred gender role. People aren't telling kids they're trans, kids are telling their parents. When you turn your phone off at night and go to sleep, that's where it ends for you. The trans child, you constantly debate and obsess over, and the parents, have to live and deal with this, every waking minute. Forgive them, for not taking into consideration what @Anon4822100534692, has to say on the internet.
Granted, not every kid who says they're trans, is going to be trans. That's why they're heavily investigated over many years. It's the people with no dog in the fight, that's not letting kids be kids. Some kids are Transgender, let them be kids. Stop telling them what to wear and how to feel. Stop telling them how to act. And if it doesn't concern you, mind your fucking business. Being a parent to a trans child, is already a tough enough task. Last thing a loving and accepting parent needs, is some helmet, who doesn't know what they're talking about, accusing them of child abuse. You don't care about women or kids, you care about bashing trans people, and women and kids are the excuses you use, to push your narratives.
Writing this has been a most unpleasant experience. I hate saying it, because I turned my back on all this a long time ago. I needed to explain it, because elements of it were bleeding into my transition story, and I didn't want my transition story to be about all of this shit. I'll not be talking about it again, and this is not up for debate with me. If I hear anything back, it can only be because you're a moron, and you've completely missed the point of what I'm saying. It took a week to write this blog, I'm not going to waste more of my time, debating with someone who's head it's gone over. Tell you what I will do, I may reply with a sunglasses emoji. If you see that, you're missing the point of what I've said. And I can't be arsed, wasting more time, arguing with people, committed to misunderstanding trans people.
Go do your Googles. 😎
See you next week, but for now, Goo Goo Ga Ga x
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