Why I'm Choosing Regression
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| Writer and Model - Lexus Bradbury |
Now lets fast forward to 2023.
I notice a swift rise of people claiming to be Trans people on social media. I notice people are speaking on behalf of trans people that have barely been full time a couple months, if that. All of a sudden everyone everyone's the Jesus of the trans community. I notice people don't want to do the dirty work, they're quite happy to sit on their backsides at home, writing posts that Trans women are women. I turn on the television to see Drag Queens being interviewed on how hard life is for them, speaking on issues that do not impact them. I see low IQ trans women, warped, deluded and riddled with narcissism, acting as gatekeepers for the community, allowing in ideas that are not in line with the basic principles that once stood when I came out. I see the concept of gender evolve into anyone can be what they want, when they want, people who've no idea what it's like to commit to a full transition. People with no personality, and nothing special about them, deciding they're going to dye their hair blue and hide behind full time girls who've worked years for their identity. I see Drag Queens going into schools to read children books about gender, I begin to feel disheartened. I see the public begin to push back and challenge the new ideas and binary. I look on as weak liberals scream and shout them down, branding them transphobic. I question myself and begin to ask myself what my take on it all is, I come to the conclusion people need to be heard out, like I listened when I was in the pub. I notice women start to become concerned, because we have men with beards in dresses using their bathroom, I feel uncomfortable, I can't help but find it sickening how quickly things have changed and have been exploited. There's a swift push back and things start to get harder for girls like me, I begin to lose my rights. Suddenly I'm not compelling anymore, I'm a danger to women and kids. I start to feel bitter towards my own cause and it starts to reflect in my posts on social media. I notice the trans debate becoming a political football, that gets kicked about in the UKs most recent election. I see my rights being stripped away to the point, I can no longer go for a pee in public. Society becomes so toxic that I'm targeted by the local scroats where I lived, and assaulted. Emboldened by all the right wing headlines and lies that get told about Trans people, based on the blue haired idiots that like to think they represent girls like me. I realise I have the intelligence to make a difference in the debate, but it's too late. There's too many of them, I spend my days fighting off packs of people who have nothing meaningful in their life, so quickly latch on to the anti trans cause. I see it's become quite the little gold mine bagging on trans people all day on social media, people literally making a living from it. I decide there's little point in me speaking, because there are too many voices speaking up for me, and they're all saying very different things. I realise that having brains comes with a bit of responsibility, and end up stepping away from everything. When really, full time Trans women like me should be doing the talking. Knowledge of self is so important, but this is the problem with idiots and narcissists, they don't realise they're idiots and narcissists. I become very depressed and unwell, I have a break down, overdose and end up in a psychiatric hospital.
While laying there in that bed , sweating out codeine, being checked on every fifteen minutes on suicide watch, I begin to question should I remain full time. The amount of grief its brought me the last few years, I genuinely wondered if I still had the strength to keep moving forward, hindsight will tell you the answers to that. Hospital felt like prison, and in some ways it's worse, because there's things that you aren't allowed access to without supervision, that prison inmates are allowed. Boredom naturally begins to set in, and sometimes the only way to cope, is to live in your own mind. I began to get a plan together of what I wanted to do when I went home. The obvious had stared me in the face for such a long time, why don't I finally just start to be myself, why dont I just be ABDL.
I've often dabbled in the ABDL world with my ex girlfriend, who became my Mummy, and I was always so happy. Once her boyfriend, now sat on the floor with my hair in ribbons with a colouring book, while she watched her programs. While I accept there's a ton of stigma about age play and regression, things are so bad for me anyway, that I wont notice any difference at all. I was getting grief only being half of myself, so I might as well get the grief while being true to myself, and maybe, just maybe, I'll start to feel better.
Next week I'll lift the lid on all this fun stuff, it's quite hot actually if you are the kinky type. I would have done it in this blog, but I've said some serious stuff that I feel needed to be said, and didn't want to ruin the nice stuff by including it in this blog.
So consider this the last I speak on trans matters. I reject your advocates, I reject the politics of it all. I reject the worlds corruption and greed. I reject all the killing, I reject your wars. How horrible everyone is to each other on social media. You can think I'm weird, but all I want to do now is play and colour, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. To me you're the weird ones. The only difference between me and you, is I wear a diaper. Growing up is a myth, people stay children their whole lives, they just don't realise it.
See you next week, but for now, Goo Goo Ga Ga x
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