Life as a Little (Part II)
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| Writer and Model - Lexus Bradbury |
Big week this week !! My house move is finally good to go, so I can finally kick on with all my sexy lifestyle plans. I'll be heading up north soon, and transferring all my belongings south. I've been in the south for months waiting for the transfer, and it looks like it's finally come. Nothing more frustrating than having all your ABDL belongings miles away from you, with no access to them.
It's not just the ABDL stuff either, it's the entire contents of my home. I'm particularly missing my mixing decks. I'll be live streaming Hip Hop sessions dressed full ABDL, I think it will be cool. Can see it now, bib and pacifier, scratching some Tupac records hehe.
So last weeks blog started the tale of my first steps into the ABDL world, and I ended with the first night going to sleep after my girlfriend regressing me for the first time, so lets jump in !!
The following weeks we had bags of fun. My girlfriend pulled all that off in just one night at short notice, she really went all out. The dynamics of our relationship very quickly changed. We both loved each other immensely, and we were a couple, but we didn't need to constantly remind ourselves of that throughout the regression. She knew as well as I did, that I'd drop everything in a heartbeat if she needed Lexy the girlfriend. It's like an unspoken deal between ABDL and Caregiver, that you don't want to discuss too much, because it spoils the fun. There was plenty of times I had to step up and be grown up, it's not a problem to me, the world doesn't really allow anything other than that anyway.
The first things I remember showing up, was ABDL Diapers and a chastity cage. The diapers were from The Dotty Diaper Company, shoutout to Dotty Diaper !!
Check out their website here https://www.thedottydiapercompany.co.uk/
The chastity cage was very small with a urethra tube insert, cold unforgiving hard metal.
I remember her laying me out naked on the bed, nervously resting on a fresh open diaper, fitting the chastity. I'd never worn chastity before. As a dominatrix, I'd fit plenty, I never thought in a million years I'd end up in chastity myself.
The ring was freezing cold and tight, the Sudocrem took care of any friction issues. We were halfway there, I knew things were changing, I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to, I was so happy. Feeling the urethra tube being fitted with the small head of the chastity was something new. I wouldn't describe it as sexy actually, more uncomfortable at first, then it becomes sexy with time. A few week of a scratchy sensation while you wee wee, and then it passes. A vibrator on the front of your diaper, and orgasming through a urethra tube, is next level pleasure. The diaper and chastity make orgasm difficult, but not impossible. The plan was never, not to orgasm anyway. The chastity was more of a symbol of the passing of control, and an addition to our sex lives. The orgasms and release however, would be much less, I'm talking months between orgasms sometimes.
Once fitted my girlfriend took the keys, and stashed them in her pocket, I was going to have to work for any gratification I got now. She always knew how to be sexy, some girls try too hard. You've probably seen enough porn to see fake dommes doing an evil laugh in the middle of their inane drivel. Yes, you know the laugh, I can't type the laugh really, you just know it.
"I'm going to make you wear panties now ... mwuhuhuhuh."
They might as well tell us, I don't know what sexy things to say, so here's some filler while my brain scratches around for something to say.
Please for the love of God, just stop doing it !! I'm begging you. And men, stop making these useless bitches famous. Go and look at humiliation POV videos, and you'll see hundreds of basic girls doing it. I'll be watching what I reckon is a cool video, and close to orgasm, then bam, she pulls out the shit laugh. Serious passion killer that. I'd rather masturbate over the yellow pages than hear that laugh. All the pressure's on men to perform, but nobody wants to talk about the fact, there's tons of women who don't have a clue what they're doing. I guess no one's ready to have that conversation yet.
Sorry to spoil your porn.
My girl was an absolute natural, no fake evil laugh from this bitch. Jesus, she could say such beautiful, terrible things to me, particularly while she was coating my balls in cream and talc. She was so good, she didn't even rush the fastening up of my diaper, everything was done slow, with deliberate intent.
I was so aroused and already lacking gratification, it made me instantly want to gratify her. Once dressed and the job was done, I slid down between her legs and began licking her pussy. I always spent more time on the clit at first, that's how she liked it. She was dripping, I think we both were. I was covered in a diaper and wearing pants at the time, but I've seen my chastity tube bubbling when I'm aroused, and I was so very aroused.
The usual circumstances would play out. The first sign of orgasm, she'd grab my head and pull it deep into her vagina. Now my tongues inside her, and I'm rubbing her dripping, throbbing clit with my fingers. Her body would stiffen, and she would moan loudly with pleasure. Once this played out, she would push me away and discard me like rubbish, damn I love that woman.
It's quite interesting how a chastity changes your thinking when it comes to intercourse. You clearly aren't going to feel any nice sensations between your own legs, so it frees you up to focus solely on your partners needs. If you're looking for something new to explore with your partner, I highly recommend it.
Once we'd made love, she told me we were heading out. Nothing unusual really until we got to the car. I don't drive, so I'd always go to the front passenger side door. As I did she started laughing, (but not in a crap porn way). She said "Oh No Mrs, the backseat for you." I'm blushing just remembering it. I did what I was told without argument, my little trans cock stiffening with nowhere to go, pushing against my chastity cage. She opened the back door for me, I got in, and she did my seatbelt. The humiliation was so erotic. The icing on the cake though, is when she pulled my pacifier out, and put it in my mouth. We literally drove to town with me in the backseat sucking on my dummy. I didn't speak a word along the journey, I was so embarrassed, I just looked down at my feet the entire time.
The plan in town was simple, replace my adult clothes with younger, more childlike clothes, and get extra things we didn't have. There wasn't much in town really in terms of clothing, which wasn't really an issue. Amazon would easily take care of that, and did. We did however manage to get baby food, which I never asked for or expected, and a princess food bowl and plate matching set, she also bought me a changing mat, this girl was wild.
Once we got home she set about feeding me, very erotic. Being sat at my dining room table with her next to me, spoon feeding me Heinz Spaghetti Bolognese. Patronising me in a childlike manner, as she brought the little pink spoon towards my lips. Deliberately smearing it around my face, so she could wipe it with my bib, which she insisted I wore until bathtime. I didn't resist at all, I was like a leaf in the wind, going through the motions, trusting her completely. The food thing became hotter with time, because after a while when you see your partner having really nice adult meals you've become accustomed to, it teases you. Even things like Mcdonalds, not being able to have what I want, and having happy meals instead, while she ate the big tasty with bacon. There's so many aspects to this that's sexy for very different reasons. There's the being deprived aspect, there's the humiliation aspect. The lowering of my social standing aspect, the loss of control aspect, and the fact that this is very much my lifestyle now aspect. There's also the aspect of my mental health. Literally feeling it improve over time, as responsibilities from a very difficult life, faded away into the background. I'll get into the mental benefits of regression in a later blog.
Clothing began showing up and I was delighted. Black dungarees and a Pink T Shirt with Teddy Bears on the design. Nighties with rainbows on them. Oversized panties that went over my diaper for when I had leaks and accidents. A far cry from the PVC catsuits I'd famously modelled as a dominatrix. The reality was though, throughout the decade I spent in porn, portraying myself as whatever the fans desired, it wasn't really Lexy. I craved anything but being sexualised that way, and being built into something I wasn't, and never wanted to be. Even now, even though I'm showing people what I really am, people still see a Mistress. The amount of people who reach out asking me to domme them is unreal, its becoming borderline offensive. Still not as offensive as being repeatedly told by people what I'm doing is not their thing. I catered to your thing for a decade, can I have my thing now please, can I be happy ? No matter how much I show people who I am, they see what their dicks want them to see.
Anyway, back to the story.
Mummy made me model the clothing and told me how cute and adorable I looked. I felt like I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Little cute black patent dolly shoes with a bow on the front, to go with my matching white patterned tights. There was nowhere for me to hide, not anymore, I was living the ABDL life.
Watching her bag up all my adult underwear and throw it away, was so hot. I wasn't wearing cheap stuff either. I was an international porn star, I was wearing the best. One of the sexiest things that arrived you would not believe, was the booster seat for the car. It's not really about what it did, it's more about what it represented. It was my booster seat for my Mummy's car, it was for me.
Toys began showing up, colouring books showed up, everything was changing. I felt uncomfortable playing with them at first, but eventually I rediscovered my imagination and began to enjoy them. Every evening at five my girlfriend, now Mummy, would take my mobile phone off me and turn it off. I would be on the floor playing with my toys into early evening, while she watched her soaps. Occasionally she'd speak over to me while I was playing and ask "Are you ok pinkle pom pom ?" Initially I'd go to take my pacifier out to tell her yes, but she would insist the pacifier stays in. The pacifier distorted my speech and made me sound more childlike, I struggled with the shame for a while.
Our intimacy went through the roof, she was getting more pleasure than I'd ever been interested in giving. With me constantly in a heightened state of arousal by it all, my only gratification became hers. I was very highly sexed. I used to like banging three to four times a day, but that's all it was. With my cock only rarely involved in any action now, it was all about her and her needs. We'd helped our sex lives and our bond had strengthened. We'd taken our relationship in a direction that brought us closer together. If you're in an ABDL relationship, then you'll already know what I'm talking about, but if not, it's hard to explain. I'm talking trust on whole new levels. More meaningful intimacy. I could love her more, because I was being true to myself. How can you love someone the same, when you aren't being you ?
If you aren't being you, you're reducing your capacity within you. Like being a pint glass, but only being able to offer a shot glass of emotion, because you're restricted by expectations. My partner on the other hand was being showered with love, affection and being utterly adored. She was the focus of my happiness now. My being ABDL, didn't really put the spotlight on me at all. Her acceptance of me, made me love her more, it was like the opposite of a vicious circle. She got to see me in a new light and got to express her love. By taking care of me the same way I'd always taken care of her. Me as her ABDL, completed her and gave her a new purpose.
That's enough for this week, I'll be back with Part III of the story next Friday, there's still plenty to cover. Next weeks blog promises to be the sexiest one to date, you always save the best for last.
Thanks for reading. If you liked, don't forget to follow the blog and become Awesome !!
See you next week, but for now, Goo Goo Ga Ga x
