Life as a Little (Part III)
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| Writer - Lexus Bradbury |
I sit on the floor, gazing lovingly at my partner, hair in ribbons. It's been months of being regressed now. Months of chastity, months of denial. I am so very aroused by all the changes going on around me. She asks me gently "Are you ok crinkle bum". I tell her I am, my pacifier distorting my speech. I know any minute my girlfriend, now Mummy, is going to tell me it's bedtime. She's right, it is bedtime. I've become so used of the routine now, 8pm is late for me. Tonight's a special night, the anticipations been building all day !! My cot has finally arrived. My big double bed now belongs to my girlfriend, I will no longer sleep alongside her. I lost that right when I asked for regression.
She leads me to the stairs which she insists I crawl up, encouraging me at the top, a bum change awaits. She puts my changing mat on the bed, and lays me out on it. I am lay still, covering my face from all the excitement and shame. She removes my chastity, this only happens at bath time so I can be shaved and cleaned. My cock is instantly hard, no longer restricted by the little cap that had become so comforting and reassuring over the past months. She takes my cock and begins to guide it inside her vagina. I tell her better not. I've been exposed to my fetish now for months in denial, I'm not going to last. She continues guiding me inside her. She doesn't speak a word as she slides down the tip, she's dripping wet. She sits on my cock motionless, cold and clinical, looking into my eyes. I feel the muscles in her vagina squeeze and tense up, instantly I cum. She climbs off, places a fresh diaper underneath me, refits my chastity, seals me in the diaper, leans into my ear and whispers "That's why you're in diapers now." My God I love this woman, how could I not.
She points towards my new cot, which now I've had sexual release, doesn't seem as appealing. She'd often do things like this deliberately. She insists I climb in and lay down. She puts my princess pink duvet over me, says goodnight and then leaves the room, turning the light out on the way out. I can't honestly remember how long I lay there awake, a good while though. All I had to do if I wanted it to all end, was get up, undress and leave the room and go back downstairs. Yet there I was, lay there like a good girl. I never wanted to be a bad girl, my girlfriends praise of my behaviour had become important to me. Some ABDLs are different, they get a kick out of being naughty, I got a kick out of positive praise. I lay there because deep down it's what I wanted and needed. I can remember looking up through the net curtains and seeing the moon, I felt safe and comforted by its glow. I'd already learned how to self sooth using my pacifier, so I began to use it. I closed my eyes from the moons distraction, and began to focus only on my pacifier, to this day this is still my routine. Focus only on your pacifier, how it feels, what it's like when you rub your tongue against it, what it's like to suck on. I promise you, if you do this for however long needed, (this greatly depends on how long you've been doing it). I promise you, if you switch your mind only to your pacifier, you'll fall asleep.
The next thing I remember was morning, my Girlfriend/Mummy fast asleep in our bed, I didn't even hear her come to bed. I climbed out of my cot, into the bed, and give her the big spoon treatment. We would lay for hours in embrace, the safest place in the world was snuggled up to her, not a care in the world. She asked me how my first night had gone. Fine to be honest, it wasn't my big double bed, but isn't that the whole point ? She told me I looked cute lay sleeping, I died of embarrassment.
Many days were the same, playing with toys, watching my cartoons etc. It's the landmark days that tend to stick out to me. Like my first time going number two in my diaper. I always said I need my nappy off if I needed number two, but my partner said that needed to change. She always knew how to push me and get the best from our intimacy. I guess I just didn't want her to have to clean up my dirt. Figured it was unfair and never something I'd ask of a partner, she wanted it though. I guess being as kinky minded as she was, she knew it would humiliate me. It was never something I was going to just do willingly. I'd had adulthood drilled into me, we're all trained to go to the toilet. A whole day passed by before I even felt the urge to go, even then I've got a good few hours of holding. My partner knew the moment was due and began encouraging me, I shook my head, pigtails flapping in the wind. She just laughed and said I would have to at some point. She was right, I would, the urge had become overwhelming by now, and I was passing wind often, telling on me that I needed to go. Eventually I couldn't hold any longer and I just let go, I've never experienced shame like it. As I was going, she sat there and said "Only big girls and boys use the toilet, you go in your nap naps".
Going created shame, but being changed was going to be even more shameful. She grabbed a diaper, and instead of taking it off, she put another one over the top of it, sealed it, and put me down in my cot for a nap. Remembering and looking back, I can feel the shame and discomfort, but it's all so arousing at the same time. When she did eventually change me, I just lay back apologising, she laughed as usual and reassured me it's fine.
I'd been using diapers so long and become so used to them, that going out in public without them was challenging. There were times, and are times, you just can't ABDL up. There are times you shouldn't ABDL up, no matter how full time you are. That being said, months and months of not using the toilet, and just going, when you're in panties and jeans, you forget you're not in a diaper and just let it flow. Being in public and a few seconds into a wee, before you remember you aren't diapered, is not a good look. Funny though, shouting to my Mrs oh fuck, we need to pop home while I change. Every problem has a solution, and ours was pull ups, because by this point I'd become incontinent. I'd always go to bed in a fresh diaper and wake up to it swollen and heavy, going wee wees in my sleep.
She changed me in public a few times, she looked hot with my changing bag over her shoulder. Taking me to the change room, laying me back on the little table, and giving me a fresh clean bum. Dying to get her home so I can make love with her. Strap on over my diaper, my cock so close yet so far from her wet dripping pussy. Grinding away on her, with only her needs in my mind, because the chastity made mine so irrelevant.
Orgasms weren't often for me, but when I had them, they'd become cold and clinical. Every one humiliating as going number two in my diapers. She would remove my cage to clean me, grab my instantly hard cock, and coldly just milk it. No sexiness, no moaning, no foreplay, we were already having that part with the ABDL stuff. She would literally unlock my chastity, milk me with an expressionless face, and within ten to fifteen seconds I'd already cum. So now, not only was I using diapers completely, she'd turned me into a premature ejaculator, and then used that to enforce the diapers, it was the sexiest vicious circle ever.
I've been brave enough to live a very sexy lifestyle, and this is why handcuffs and a blindfold seem so ordinary to me. Most things do these days to be honest. Our intimacy is the one thing that separates us from the animals. Animals can get on and get off, but we have so many ways of expressing our love. I can't do get on get off, or anything remotely close to vanilla. I find it insulting. I'm not ashamed of who I am, I like what I am. I'm hurting nobody and I'm happy. I'm exotic, rare and desirable, and feel sexy and confident.
Being a retired sex worker, I've spoken to thousands of men and women who are in unhappy relationships. Because they want to try something new in the bedroom, and are afraid if they suggest it to their partners, they'll lose them. It's crazy to me. Life's too short for crap sex. If the get on get off brigade find me strange, how strange do you think they look to me ?
That concludes the story on my regression, I hope you enjoyed.
I'm sure ABDLs and caregivers found it interesting, maybe even arousing. But what about people here reading, who are here out of morbid curiosity, and just can't understand it all ? Well next week I'll open up as to why I am the way I am. It took me a long time to understand myself, but I feel I can express it now.
Thanks for reading, Keep it kinky peoples !!
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See you next week, but for now, Goo Goo Ga Ga x
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Such a hot read Lil Lexy is by far my favourite ABDL girl
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